How did it go? Dr. Bale enquired, preparing to write notes on Nicks chart about the consultation-which would implicate some medication and possible further psychiatric sessions. Dr. Belkin made himself comfortable in the chair in front of Dr. Bales desk and began to go over his own notes.
Nick has recently broken up with his girlfriend He began, tracing his notes with a pen. Hes feeling very inadequate and quite depressed. He feels he was a bad boyfriend and now has trouble being around women Dr. Belkin listed. These feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy have filtered into his professional life, whereby he is struggling to contribute lyrically, musically and vocally and this is distressing him immensely, as they are recording an album, and there is a lot of pressure on him. He has confessed to nightmares and sleep deprivation So, stress? Dr. Bale concluded.
Most likely, wouldnt you say? Dr. Belkin agreed. Hes been unhappy with his life for a little while, but shows no sign of any suicidal tendencies.
Hes no risk to himself or anyone else.
Thats good. Dr. Bale made some notes. The only medication he is on is sleeping pills is that right? Yes hes having trouble sleeping, and at the moment he says he can not sleep without taking at least two a night. Dr. Belkin described.
Dr. Bale shook his head.
You think they have it all living the life they lead and they just dont Dr. Belkin nodded at his comment. Hes a nice guy and its just tragic that hes subject to the razzle dazzle. If you dont have your health and happiness what do you have? He asked his colleague passionately.
Nothing.
Thats right. Dr. Bales thoughts drifted to his sister who is six years younger than he is. She is a Backstreet Boys fan and has pictures of Nick on her bedroom walls at home. Dr. Bale didnt conclude that the Nick his fans know didnt exist; he simply knew how upset theyd be if they saw him like this. They briefly discussed a prescription for him that he could pick up before he left in the morning.
The other guy from the band is staying the night isnt he? Dr. Bale asked.
Yeah thats right. His name is Brian- he came up a few times during the session. Nick has struggled to adjust after Brians marriage to his wife, and the birth of his son. Back when they were younger and more famous, Brian was his companion but Nick feels he has less and less time for him. Nicks quite ambivalent-although he believes that, he also knows that its not true. Dr. Bale nodded.
Has he opted for more sessions? Yeah he said he wouldnt mind having a few more with me when I offered them to him. He thought it was a good idea.
Fantastic. Dr. Bale made his final few notes on Nicks chart, and tossed it aside and relaxed in his chair. The two doctors began discussing football results as the night shift began.
It was coming up to half-past eleven when Nick rested his head against the pillow. His mind was numb- he was empty after all his confessions to Dr. Belkin. Nick was never normally that open with people, but he knew it would do him some good, so he loosened his inhibitions and spoke from his heart.
The silence was very loud in his head now. Brian folded Nicks blood stained shirt, leaving it on the chair and lay down next to Nick. The hospital was quiet and the room was a relaxing dark.
I dont know how we both are fitting in this bed. Brian observed which was followed by a small fit of giggles. Nick smirked. He was glad Brian was with him, however he felt bad that Brian was snuggled up in bed with him, instead of with Leighanne- Nick on the other hand found it quite comical like Brian did. Brian shut his eyes, resting his hands on his chest, trying to piece together everything that had happened today. He struggled to relax and prayed silently next to Nick for them both to be able to sleep. He knew Nick did not have the comfort of his sleeping pills, and he knew he didnt have his family to relax him.
Brian Nick began.
Yeah? Brian replied.
Nick sat up on his elbows, taking more than his fair share of space on their limited sized bed.
Brian opened his eyes and looked at Nick when he felt Nick move next to him.
I could have died today. Nick stated as if he didnt believe it.
Well, youre still with us. Brian noted. God obviously didnt want to meet you today. Brian tried to comfort him by reciting a quote from a psalm he knew. I laid me down and slept; I awakened; for the Lord sustained me
Nick lay back down, only partially comforted. His eyes welled up with water. Although Brians religious commitments inspired Nick, he wanted more from his friend right now than Bible philosophies.
Brian? Nick asked again, his voice, a soft tremor due to his tears. Brian turned his head to look at Nick again, in time to see a tear fall down from his eyes.
I was so scared Nick admitted as he began to cry again, his face creasing, and his eyes closing.
Hey Brian comforted, as Nick covered his face with his hands. Brian gently removed Nicks hands from his face. Look at me. Brian asked. Nicks heart broken face stared at him, desperately looking for comfort.
I know things have changed, but thats because were not the boys we used to be
Nick cried a little more at this statement.
But dont ever think that I dont love you like the brother you are to me anymore because I have another family outside of the one I have with you and the other guys. Brian brought his religion into their conversation again, but in a way that helped Nick.
You know I think God intended for me to be in this group. But not just so I could help and entertain the fans, but to gain four brothers and to help them too. God wanted me to be your Frick do you think I wouldnt spend my time knowing you, looking after you? Brian smiled as Nick stopped crying.
Come on, Im your brother, Id never let anything happen to you. He comforted. Brian got up and reached inside the pockets of his jacket which was hanging on the back of the chair where Nicks shirt was. He pulled out his car keys, which had a small, pocket knife key ring on it. He walked back over to their bed, and cut a small part of his flesh on his palm. He took Nicks hand and did the same. He held both their hands together.
Do you remember you and I doing this when you were seventeen?
Yeah I do. Nick confessed.
They had been in a hotel room, and Nick had just finished explaining to Brian a few problems he was having. Brian had deemed them officially Frick and Frack that night, with the same pocket knife on his keys.
God, will you please forever keep this bond as strong as it has ever been, so Nick can walk the valley of the shadow of death Brian smiled. With someone by his side. Nick felt all of Brians strength feed into him, as their blood mixed and dried in their clasped hands. Nick finished Brians prayer.
In the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost. Amen.
Amen. Brian repeated and took his hand back. Each both lay back down in their bed.
Goodnight -rok. Nick said.
Goodnight Nick. Brian replied. Oh and by the way Brian mentioned. Scare us like that again, and Ill kill you. Both giggled temporarily before relaxing into a pure and pleasant sleep.
