He hoped, however naively, that his skin was growing thicker again.
He sat a brown, cardboard box in the passenger seat of his car, and drove with it over to Paris' house. He decided that if he were to do this, he would do it quickly and quietly-he did not want to speak to her. He was half-way when his mobile phone rang in its car adaptor.
It was AJ, so he answered it on speaker phone.
"Hey man." Nick greeted to him. He was happy to speak to him.
"Hey-how u doin'?" AJ enquired, he had already noted a revival in Nick's tone of voice.
"I'm alright…" Nick said trailing off, as he approached Paris'
street. His breathing increased.
"That's good." AJ commented. "So what you doin'?"
"I'm pulling up to Paris' street." Nick blurted out quickly, as he felt a stab of pain across his chest.
"What?!" AJ exclaimed. "What the hell you doin' there?"
"I'm dropping off some stuff of hers. I won't speak to her. I can't speak to her." He pulled up at the gates to her house, and parked.
Looking at the large, towering house, Nick was unsure if he could even get out of the car. "So much for the tougher skin." Nick whispered to himself aloud.
"Huh?" AJ said, hearing Nick but not fully deciphering what he had said.
"Nothing." Nick said to him. "You know what I'm gonna have to call you back man." He could not do this with someone on the phone.
"Alright man, call me back. Just please don't speak to that bitch ok?" AJ begged. In his heart AJ knew the torment Nick would have to endure if he spoke to Paris.
"I won't." Nick said trying to convince himself now. He wanted to talk to her, and to hold her and feel her and make love to her. But another side of him wanted to never even hear her name ever again- he would more than gladly erase his memory of her if he could. "Talk to you later man."
"Later." AJ's voice was silent once again. Nick felt ambivalence immediately. He couldn't do it with AJ egging him on, but he now felt completely vulnerable without the comfort of his company. Nick peered over at the box. He opened one lid and viewed one or two of the items that were there. A Valentines Day card, and some perfume and… He forced the lid back closed as soon as he could. He didn't want to be reminded of his love that was still shrivelling and dying. "The sooner you do this, the sooner you can leave." His head encouraged him. His eyes shifted toward the tall gates of the entrance to her house- daunting and threatening from their height.
He drew in one, deep breath and got out of the car. He jogged around to the passenger side and retrieved the box. He left it by the gates and scurried back into the safety of his car. He sped away as quickly as he could. One thing down. A million and one other things about his life, he still had to cure.
