Damn. Nick said, rushing to pull jeans he had left on the floor up over his bare legs and boxers. He hurried to the door and opened it without checking.
Hey Nick A Florida native girl named Amy greeted him as she walked in dragging two of his suitcases that had arrived from the US. Amy assisted Nick on these small press tours, ensuring he kept his lawyer at hand, and researching the final products of interviews and photo shoots. She was also helping re-establish the bands former website www.bacsktreetboys.com. Nick grabbed her and cuddled her in relief to have his suitcases.Thank you Amy-I love you! He blurted out happily, sitting on the floor and opening the two suitcases up to ensure that nothing was missing.
Youre welcome. She expressed playfully brushing her scruffy blonde hair behind her ears. But youre going to love me more She teased playfully.
She had worked with Nick for a while now, and knew the behaviour he would respond to best.
What? Nick enquired, raising an eyebrow. Amy turned back to the opened door, and unhooked an item of clothing that was on a clothes hanger- washed and dried and ironed for him. A grateful grin spread rapidly across Nicks face, when he realised it was Brians shirt. And it was clean. Nick leapt up to examine the shirt, taking it from her and smelling the fabric. A floral scent filled his nose, and he breathed it in willingly.
Brian was gonna freak so, when I went to the airport on your behalf, I had that dry cleaned. Amy described with a smile. Nick loved her as his assistant as she always went beyond the call of duty. He certainly owed her one now. He embraced her again, hugs were apart of the relationship they had established, Amy was used to this behavior usually not experienced by boss and employee, but it was better than an office job, she thought. She was more of a friend to Nick, than someone who merely worked for him.
Thank you, Brian was gonna kick my ass Nick said opening his arms to release her, knowing she must be busy.
Well, you owe me something pretty She teased with a giggle.
Done! Nick said passionately, taking the shirt off the hanger and folding it neatly. He placed it in one of the open suitcases, and said he would give it back to Brian in the morning. Amy nodded, bade him a good night and escaped the room. A well-timed breath of fresh air as always Nick expressed, as he locked the door and flicked his light switch. He walked over to the bed and climbed in it, wrapping himself warmly up in the silky and cushiony arms of his duvet, not fully prepared for what his mind had in store for him. Screw you, Carter Heathers voice echoed in his dreams. Oh no wait-I already did that Nick violently tossed to his left, caught up in his duvet as his dreams distressed him, poisoning his mind with images of the past.
Only the silence in the room, and the walls absorbed Nick-s fearful mumbles and physical outbreaks, his tears and his groans. He heard little Baylees terrified screams and gurgles as he purged water, an event Nick had never forgiven himself for. So loud and so vivid in his ears. Nicks physical body was panicking and crying as much as his spiritual body, that wandered his dreams as these events unfolded again behind his closed eyes, that would refuse to open. Contrasting images confused his head, images of writhing inside the bar maid on the worst night of his life, guttering on the floor of the restaurant and hugging Brian in his hospital room. Tears and blood and loss of breath engulfed him, taking over his waking body which was now panic stricken and tense and convulsing.
Wake me up, please Nick lucidly begged himself from the inside of the vaulted sky of his dreams. Wake me up, please
Almost on his command, similar to what Nick thought an out-of-body-experience would feel like, he was snapped awake from his dreams. He realised immediately that he was crying and shivering. He sat up straight on his bed and began to cough violently for a moment or two, as if he were trying to cough up the feeling of unwanted familiarity with anxiety.
Nicks breathing began to tighten, so he ran as fast as he could over to the large windows of his room, hastily and in panic fumbling and opening the lock, before forcing the window open and breathing in the cold air. Its alright He told himself out loud. Its alright He repeated trying to remind himself that although the patchwork of images was real, the stage show was a dream.
An hour later, he sat tensely with his legs crossed on his bed wrapped up in his duvet trying to get over the shock of what he had reminisced over, against his will in his nightmare. He hadnt bitten his nails in a long time, but his index finger on his right hand had bled slightly due to him biting at his nail and skin in deep thought. The flood gates Nick had spent nearly a year maintaining and disciplining were broken and battered, all his chained emotions and memories running wild inside his head. He hadnt thought about these things in a long time. Memories attacked him as he watched them play on the wall of his imagination-flashes of pain and colours left him vulnerable. He didnt understand. Why now? Nick asked himself.
Wha-s happened for you to revert back?
Nick began to shiver as the oppressive atmosphere in his dark room began to close in on him. He felt like a ten year old scared of the dark, scared something was under the bed, or behind the curtains, or on the other side of the bathroom door-Nick looked at each place as he listed them, his imagination now fully controlling him. Nick had been happy to believe, and had trained himself to believe those demons under the bed or behind the curtains didnt exist. Now he wasnt so sure.
AJ leapt out of his bed suddenly and in shock when he heard two firm knocks at his door. He turned on a lamp, and crawled out of bed as the door sounded again. He tilted the clock to look at it. It was 1:22 am. He assumed it must be one of the other guys, as no one else would dare disturb him at this time. He wasnt worried. Not until he opened the door and saw a shaking Nick standing outside in the corridor, draped in his duvet, clutching his room key and pillow. Nick-s eyes were red AJ noted. He didnt know how he knew, but AJ knew Nick had had a bad dream to end all bad dreams.
Can I sleep on the sofa in here? Nick pleaded emotionally, sniffing soon after. AJ stood out of the door way and invited him in yawning. He closed the door quietly and helped Nick prepare the sofa for him to sleep on, removing most of the silky cushions that would slip if he were to turn on them. AJ stayed silent even though he could hear Nick occasionally sob beside him. A million thoughts ran through AJs worried but sleepy mind, and Nick prayed he wouldnt ask but would just let him sleep, and not dream anything. Nick placed his pillow near the arm of the sofa, and lied down clutching his duvet to him like a mental patient, like a child who refused to be parted with their blanket.
You alright man? AJ asked climbing back into his own bed, and staring over at Nick, as he knew he couldnt see him in this darkness.
Yeah Nick sobbed. I just cant sleep in my room AJ nodded and decided to ask him about it in the morning. His eyes grew heavy again quickly and he was greeted by sleep very quickly.
Nick looked out to the street lights of London, and felt awful and sick. The darkness taunted him in his late night torment. Nicks face creased and his eyes let three silent tears fall onto his cheeks. He knew he needed to calm down. But all he could do was pray for the sunrise.
